It’s All About How To Let Go Of The Past.August 10, 2018
Sometimes the past can be extremely hard on people. So much to the point that they find a way to bury it deep to where they never have to think about it. Although it is the common sense thing to do, it isn’t the healthiest. So I want to hopefully help you by telling you all about how to let go of the past.
It Is All About How To Let Go Of The Past.
I feel that explaining what is happening in this event will help deepen your awareness, therefore making the recovery much easier.
Not all but most of the time in this situation our past will be horrific in either a sexual manner such as rape or in a manner such as abuse. It is a terrible feeling to have those memories hang around inside your head which is why so many people bury them.
“For the example here we will say the name Jane and we will use an example of her past involving sexual abuse from immediate family.”
We will say Jane is 50 now, but when she was a child, she and her sisters were abused sexually, physically and emotionally. They were in and out of Foster Care due to the living situations that they were in. Without going in to the details of our made up scenario, This is the past that is haunting her at 50. For many years she worked on burying everything that involved her childhood but now a situation has come up and all those feelings and thoughts and flashbacks have come back.
Back to the now and presently feeling all these emotions. She is having nightmares, s steady fear in her, she feels like people are listening in on her phone calls. She can’t sleep and she feels like she is being watched.
Does any of this sound familiar in your situation? If so, I am hopeful to try to explain why this is and what we can do about it. If you are ready, let’s continue on.
Why All the Hurtful Past Feelings Come Back
As a child, Jane was sexually abused on a regular basis with a member of her family that lived in the same home. So this would naturally create Jane to have feelings of Watching And Fearing of when the next time was coming. Having to always watch her surroundings and help protect siblings.
Now we can see that feelings are connected to our thoughts. Jane buried them for a long time. That means that the feelings that were related to her past also were buried as well.
However, Now that her mind is having those thoughts of the past again, the feelings of those thoughts have to come to her also. It sounds simply put now maybe, however, a lot of the world isn’t aware of how our feelings are connected to the way we think, which is our thoughts. So now that you know why all these weird feelings of depression, fear, etc are eating at Jane, How do we fix them?
The Important 3 Steps About How To Let Go Of The Past.
Did you know that it is possible to change the feelings related to a thought? Well, it’s true, we really can.
Jane is attached. Yes, she buried a lot but she never healed. I look at healing as a type of rearranging. It is the process of replacing the feelings that are associated with the thought. The thought brings the hurts and feelings with it because it is the feeling that came with the childhood situation. That shows us how powerful our mind is, Even though Jane buried this for so long, our minds are very intelligent. Intelligence in proved when many years of forgetting something and a thought/memory can pop up and that feeling from so long ago still is there.
The process and POWER of letting go are underrated.
1. Being Aware & Accepting We must also learn awareness and acceptance. Being aware of the thoughts as we are thinking them gives us the advantage. Accepting the thoughts and letting them pass on is the key. When we have gotten to that point, then it means that we are learning Unattachment. When we become aware and accept that the painful past happened and that we just simply can not go back and take it away as if it never happened to us, you will be ready for Step 2
2. Filling Hurt with Gratitude or finding a balance between feelings. To do this we start with being grateful and looking to find the positives that came from the horrible experience. I know your thinking “HOW could I possibly do that”? But it really is possible. Ask yourself a few questions.
Has my knowledge or hurt from my experience been a result of the advice I give out today? A good example here would be. Let’s say Jane now is raising a child that was taken from an unsafe home. That experience will add a relation to the child’s experience, giving Jane the better chance of understanding what the child might feel like. It could help her help the child if the child is still struggling. And these are just a few examples. Everyone is different so your positive will be different from Jane’s, mine or anyone else.
Once we have our feelings arranged and we have found a way to create gratitude out of a terrible time, we can start working on step 3.
3. Rewiring And Rearranging The Mind The idea is to change the negative mindset when thinking about terrible experiences. By having confidence and love for yourself and the feeling that comes with it when thinking about the horrible event of the past. You are changing the feeling that is related to the event.
There is nothing we can do to change anything that has ever happened to us. No matter how hard we try we cannot time travel back and take it away. It would be good if we could, but we just simply can’t so we change the feelings of sad, mad, anger, depression, fear, etc. And with this in place, you are letting go. You’re not holding onto it. Thoughts are natural and we will always have them. They aren’t what hurts us, it is the feeling that we have attached to each thought that hurts. And the great thing is, We Can Change Those.
I hope this has at least put a perspective in place. So many people are suffering horribly because of childhood or hurt in previous years. Help give some hope to those. Share with anyone you might think could benefit
We are Powerful, We are Great, And We are Us in the NOW, The actions we take today will make or break tomorrow.
Best Wishes and Healing For All!
If you would like more ideas on How to get gratitude, Check out My 7 Steps to living your highest potential